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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26683228">Color Stains</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aguamenting/pseuds/aguamenting'>aguamenting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Blue like an Orange [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Boyz (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Artist Kevin, Comfort, Comforting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Insecurity, M/M, Metaphorical, Smut, Talking about insecurities, but still, hyuncob, hyuncob if you squint, in fact no Hyunjae isn't mentionned, insecure sangyeon, painter kevin, platonic moonbae, sangkev, we need more sangkev</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:22:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26683228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aguamenting/pseuds/aguamenting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“But you are my other half, Sangyeon. Without you, I’m not even a complete being. Do you understand this? Now, look at me and tell me what you see!”</p><p>	Sangyeon almost choked again with a loud sob, trying not to collapse against Kevin, trying to drink up every single word, wanting nothing more than to believe them all. He took a breath to calm himself a bit, then dared a shy laugh.</p><p>	“Honestly, we’re so close than I can only see my own reflection.”</p><p>	Kevin looked at him with fire in his eyes.</p><p>	“Exactly.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Sangyeon/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Blue like an Orange [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Color Stains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so hi sangkev nation (meaning 3 people YAY) </p><p>this is the last part of the "Blue" serie, you don't have to read all the other fics to understand it but there's some more details and explanations about their relationships (moonbae, hyuncob and sangkev themselves) so if you liked reading it you can click on the other fics as well!!</p><p>I really liked writing this one and I hope it will please you uwu, thanks a lot to phil @etoilephilante for correcting all the texts!!!! best beta reader in the world!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>*</p><p> </p><p>“Why won’t you ever look at me in the eyes?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>Sangyeon lifted his head up, turning away from the dishes he was washing in a dirty but multicolored water, blended with some paint left in glasses by Kevin. He faced the artistic boy, who was sitting in front of the kitchen table with a cold coffee, and he shivered, realizing he was already staring at him; still, slightly desperate, maybe even accusatory. The question in Sangyeon’s eyes as he stared back at Kevin might be understandable enough for the latter to answer:</p><p> </p><p>“Not now, but when we are in bed. You can’t look me in the eyes, you’re always hiding. Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Some kind of unspoken pain was perceptible in Kevin’s tone, and Sangyeon frowned, watching him cross his arms. He was used to seeing the artist almost on the defensive, curled in a protective embrace behind which he tried often to ignore the real world around him. But now that he was the one to open the dialogue, the very fact that he crossed his arms more likely meant that he was ready to stagger under Sangyeon’s blow. The latter felt his heart plummet inside his chest, a dull fear tightening his stomach. Kevin should not be scared of him, should not feel the need to protect himself from him.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t notice it,” Sangyeon muttered, ruffling his hair like a robot.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you did,” Kevin insisted without taking his eyes out of him, “you also blush, as if you were ashamed. As if you were ashamed of me.”</p><p> </p><p>Sangyeon brutally choked trying to answer too fast. He hit the kitchen sink a few times hoping to calm down his violent coughing fit. Kevin arched one of his eyebrows and let himself fall back into his chair, his arms still firmly crossed.</p><p> </p><p>“How can you even think such a thing?”</p><p> </p><p>The tears clearly perceptible in his own voice angered him the most; but on the other hand, it seemed to soften Kevin, who finally uncrossed his arms before he leaned towards him. Sangyeon felt highly anxious, like he was loosing control, drowned in an ocean of uncertainties and doubts he had tried to hold back for months. Kevin was the sky, airy, random, light, creative, soothing, as inspiring as he was inspired; he was the earth, thick crust layer above a lava river he refused to see inside of himself. Kevin was the fire, colorful, brighter in the night, indecent, impressive, thin and complex; and he was the water, unable to control himself when all the other elements were pushing him to the edge. Kevin was everything that was his contrary, but also everything that complemented him, the winter of his summer, the blue of his flames and the gold of his night, the color chart of his black and white pictures, and the missing part of his puzzle.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you…”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin bit his bottom lip, daring not to finish his sentence.</p><p> </p><p>“Do I?” Sangyeon repeated, a bit dumbly, his hands shaking.</p><p> </p><p>He was frightened. Not frightened by Kevin himself, but by the volcano of his thoughts, the geyser of his fears. Everything inside him was screaming he could not understand Kevin, never, that he was way too far from him, floating in the air, where Sangyeon could not extend a hand to reach his. Lost in an ocean of shimmering colors where he was only a white stain waiting to be painted.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing,” Kevin sighed, looking at nowhere.</p><p> </p><p>Sangyeon immediately felt the need to cry.</p><p> </p><p>“Kevin, please, come here.”</p><p> </p><p>The young artist hesitated a moment, before finally standing up and letting himself fall against Sangyeon, who clasped his thick and muscled arms around his lover’s thin and fragile figure with all the delicacy in the world. He was so light in his embrace, it would not be surprising for him to simply fly away if Sangyeon let him go; Kevin seemed to be conscious of it too, since he started digging his nails in his shoulders as if to ground himself, keep himself onto the earth that Sangyeon was, and create the horizon line by kissing him with their mouths open, where the sky meets the earth without letting anything between them.</p><p> </p><p>Kevin’s fingers traced more and more desperately boiling lava grooves, more exciting than painful, or maybe as exciting as they were painful, Sangyeon could not tell. The latter crushed the cloud that Kevin was to turn him into gas, to intoxicate himself by deeply inhaling his neck’s fragrance, or get drunk on the vertigo his breath was giving him. They both shared the same dizziness as if they climbed up the highest mountain, where the sky meets the stones that welcome the snow of its tears.</p><p> </p><p>Sangyeon’s shirt seemed to have been unbuttoned by itself, since Kevin’s nails grazed his lover’s nipples; to mirror him, the young artist’s pants were half open, hanging pitifully on his pale thighs, while Sangyeon’s large palms firmly held his ass to make him nearly levitate against his bare torso, Kevin legs almost wrapped around his waist.</p><p> </p><p>“Sangyeon…”</p><p> </p><p>Everything was suddenly suspended in time, as if the clock itself was waiting for Kevin’s lips to move and speak their truth. Sangyeon felt a fresh breeze pierce through him until even his bones shivered.</p><p> </p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p> </p><p>If Kevin surely meant it as an order, it sounded more like a half-plead. Sangyeon was frozen, his face buried into Kevin’s neck, stiller than a deer caught in headlights. Patiently, Kevin’s fingers started to massage his scalp with a subtle mix between tenderness and sensuality; but mostly, comfort, love, acceptation.</p><p> </p><p>“Please.”</p><p> </p><p>When Sangyeon eventually found the strength to raise his eyes, to dive into those, attentive, careful, expectant, of his lover; he was unable to hide their dampness and redness.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m scared.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin blinked a few times, his eyelids opening and closing on the ink-black night that was his pretty, hypnotizing gaze, devastated.</p><p> </p><p>“Scared? Of me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of ghosts,” Sangyeon whispered, letting his forehead rest against Kevin’s.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to stand his look, but soon he felt forced to coyly close his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re scared of ghosts in my eyes?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m scared I will see Jacob in them.”</p><p> </p><p>Confused, Kevin cupped Sangyeon’s face in his hands to maintain it, to keep him steady. He brushed his cheeks, rubbing circles with his thumbs, then with the rest of his fingertips, where he reached Sangyeon’s temples. His lover let out a small sigh, basking in the attention.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m scared to understand that you don’t love me,” Sangyeon said with a hoarse voice, “I’m scared of discovering everything we have is just an illusory bubble, and I’m scared to make it pop. I’m scared of deceiving you by showing you I’m only myself. I’m scared of scaring you, if I look at you with all of the feelings I have for you. I’m scared of you understanding. I’m scared of seeing you leave, and not being able to breathe again. I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared of discovering I’ve never had you. And mostly, I’m scared of understanding how much I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sangyeon’s lungs suddenly reminded him he needed some air to actually live, making him interrupt himself in a gasp. One of Kevin’s hand left his face, and he had to open his eyes again to find out that transparent but shiny tears were covering the young artist’s face in some kind of horrified sadness. Kevin used his palm to hold back a sob, not wanting to cut Sangyeon off. They stared dumbstruck at each other, both of them silently crying uncaring of their disheveled clothes, their bare skins covered in goosebumps rubbing against each other, or the colorful water which was about to stain their plates and dishes left in the sink. Sangyeon eventually managed to speak again, slowly, as if each word hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>“Please don’t cry. I feel like I’m breaking down, in a thousand pieces.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin only let out a small high-pitched noise coming from his throat, which sounded like a cry for help, and he pressed his palm harder against his mouth in an attempt to tone it down. Heartbroken, Sangyeon held him tightly, more tightly than ever, in his shaky but strong arms; steadily.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t cry,” he repeated like a mantra, “don’t cry, that’s not worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not worth it?” Kevin weakly choked.</p><p> </p><p>“If I was you, I’d prefer Jacob to myself too, you know.” Sangyeon painfully sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“Enough!”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin brutally hit Sangyeon’s chest with his other palm, before straightening himself against his torso and wiping his damp eyes with a sort of frustrated rage no one had ever seen in him.</p><p> </p><p>“If I want to cry, what are you gonna do? Don’t you think it breaks my heart to hear you think I could use you to love vicariously someone else? I love you, Sangyeon, I’ve probably always loved you, even though my fears and anxieties tried to take you away from me during years, as well. We’ve known each other for so long, you were always by my side, even when Jacob went back to Canada for a while, we lived together even before we started to sleep together, yes, I love you and I never want to leave you! I love Jacob too, of course, he’s my best friend, my other me, my extension. But you are my other half, Sangyeon. Without you, I’m not even a complete being. Do you understand this? Now, look at me and tell me what you see!”</p><p> </p><p>Sangyeon almost choked again with a loud sob, trying not to collapse against Kevin, trying to drink up every single word, wanting nothing more than to believe them all. He took a breath to calm himself a bit, then dared a shy laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly, we’re so close than I can only see my own reflection.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin looked at him with fire in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p> </p><p>An angel passed by, the calm before the storm, before the wild air caused a tsunami, before the untamed fire blew out of earth. Sangyeon threw himself onto Kevin’s lips, more eagerly, needier, more brutally than ever, making him immediately moan in his mouth. When he started to move forward, Kevin perfectly mirrored his steps, moving backwards while kissing him until his back met the kitchen table. He sat on it to wrap his legs more easily around Sangyeon’s muscled waist and bring him impossibly closer to him. Sky and Earth, water and fire, deer and wolf, summer and winter; Sangyeon saw all of that in Kevin’s eyes, drunk on the colored ocean overflowing from them. The young artist kept his lover’s head facing his own, steadily, by grabbing his neck, for him not to lose any of its shades. Until his orgasm made Kevin roll his head backwards against his own will; then he used both of his hands not to drown, not to get lost, hanging onto Sangyeon’s collar. There was not any other anchor point that mattered to him.</p><p> </p><p>When Sangyeon decided to empty the sink, cheeks red and wearing only his underwear, he did not feel as disappointed as he perhaps should feel noticing the white dishes they shared in their flat were now all stained with pale paint pigments.</p><p> </p><p>“They look prettier like this to me,” Kevin softly, lovingly murmured in his ear, catching one of his asscheeks through his boxers without any warning.</p><p> </p><p>His lover let his head fall against his.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too.”</p><p> </p><p>Kevin scoffed when he found himself once again held up against the sink, happily singing that he did well not to dress again after the intercourse they just had. Beaming, he let Sangyeon’s strong hands wander everywhere on his naked body, on his beautiful face, then catching his ink-black locks.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s true. Let me look at you.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is the end guys!!!! thanks a lot for reading this tiny stone to the sangkev monument (yes) </p><p>im on twitter @ chrisiscore if u wanna chat uwu</p><p>don't hesitate to leave a kudo or even a comment, it really brighten my day and i need this a lot recently ;;</p><p>have a nice day &lt;33</p></blockquote></div></div>
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